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and how, in hindsight, she views the six-year romance with some regret.

Nikki and her twin sister, Brie Bella, just released their first joint memoir titled "Incomparable" and in it, Nikki comes clean about her past troubles with John, who notoriously voiced his preference of no marriage and kids, despite.

Nikki, 36, who is currently expecting her first child with fiance Artem Chigvintsev, admits that she turned a blind eye to her desire of a family when she was with John.

'total bellas' brie AND nikki revearoubling family secret.

Nikki Bella and John Cena dated for six years and were engaged before calling it quits.

(Reuters) "Rather than turn and face that, I pushed it under the carpet and figured I could pretend like it wasn't there Nikki writes in the book, according to the.

"Because I was terrified of losing my love, I stuffed my desire for marriage and kids as deep as I could.".

The "Total Bellas" star acknowledges John made it clear a union and family were not in his plans.

But Nikki revealed that the "more you grow to love someone, the more you want it all." "I stopped giving voice to those needs, though she writes, adding that she was just "worried" John would leave her.

"And while I wanted those things very badly I just wanted him more she says.

Nikki bella reveals steamy details about amazing SEX life with boyfriend artem chigvintsev.

In 2017, though, John did the unthinkable and popped the question on live television during WrestleMania.

The couple's whirlwind engagement was a storyline on E!'s "Total Bellas.".

The engagement came one year following Nikki's surgery for a herniated disc in her neck.

It was an experience that left her "so needy she admits, and John was there for it all in the hospital with her.

"He wouldn't let anyone send him home.

He helped me go to the bathroom, even though it made me want to die with embarrassment Nikki reflects in the book.

The former athlete said the experience left her "terrified" of being "dependent." She says she now views that experience as a missed "opportunity for me to identify and then talk about how underserving and unworthy I felt.".

Nikki bella reveals HER biggest regret about televised breakup with john cena.

She confessed she was "basking in love" rather than "working for affection" one of "many regrets" she has about her past relationship with the WWE icon.
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